


Lucy And Mourning (cloaks)

by throughscentandtouch



Series: Lucy and Life [2]
Category: Fairy Tail
Genre: F/M, Gen, It's just their graves, Jealosy sorta, Lucy talks to them, Unrequited Love, angst sorta
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-16
Updated: 2019-05-16
Packaged: 2020-03-06 05:29:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,872
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18844588
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/throughscentandtouch/pseuds/throughscentandtouch
Summary: She shouldn’t be doing this today, she knew. But she couldn’t help it. Lucy Heartfilia had bottled up her emotions for far too long, and now she couldn’t continue.





	Lucy And Mourning (cloaks)

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome back to part 2 of Lucy And Life!  
> Sorry for the long absence, but I guess motivation is hard to come by for everyone, aha.  
> Enjoy!

She looked out the window of the moving train, spacing out as she reminisced from the beginning of her life.

Today was the anniversary of Layla Heartfilia's death. Lucy would be in mourning. Of course, she figured out long ago that her mother would rather she be happy instead of mourn her death, but Lucy would never stop visiting her mother and father's graves to talk to them.

She remembered her mother; not quite as well as her father because she knew him for longer, but she did know that her mother was kind, compassionate, but strong and brave.

Layla Heartfilia had a presence. In a room full of rich, famous, and powerful people, Layla Heartfilia would gain respect through her gentle, optimistic, and unfazed attitude. 

Her mother had gained the respect of Aquarius, after all, which had to be a feat of some sort.

On top of mourning her mother, Lucy would also have to work hard to be happy today. Today was the Sakura viewing day, meaning that everyone in Fairy Tail would be gathered around the tree from three o'clock to seven o'clock, to see the rainbow sakura.  Meaning, Natsu and Lisanna.

Lucy was scared for today, honestly, it was hard to be happy on the anniversary of her mother's death, but it was also hard to be sad on the flower viewing day.

Usually, she wouldn't have to be stuck around Natsu and Lisanna acting all lovey-dovey for four hours straight, so it was going to be harder.

Lucy had already accepted her feelings for Natsu, and she always kept a vase of Nigella Damascena in her apartment. But she also accepted the fact that she couldn't love Natsu.  Because Natsu was Lisanna's. And that was all.

So, when she was around other people, she chose to pretend everything was alright. And when she was alone, she allowed herself to cry.  Lucy was a very good actress at this point. No one ever noticed anything was wrong.

As the train stopped at Lucy's station, she gathered the few things she brought along: a letter to her mom, a letter to her dad(because they were right next to each other), and two small wreaths of white roses. 

"Hey Mom, hey Dad," the blonde mage sat down in front of them. "So, today is the flower viewing festival in Magnolia," she placed the wreaths in front of them with the letters. "At night the Sakura tree in the park turns rainbow colors, it's so magical. Of course, this will be my first time seeing it in the park. Last time, I was sick, so I didn't get to go. Natsu and Happy dug up the entire tree, potted it, and floated it down the canal at night so I could see it. They got in so much trouble the next day," her voice trembled at the mention of Natsu.

"I know today isn't exactly the best of days to rant to you about Natsu, Mom... But I might actually go crazy if I keep this to myself forever. Of course, Aquarius knows, she knows everything for some reason, but she doesn't like when I summon her just to rant," the blonde paused, thinking over her situation.

"Natsu and Lisanna are dating. It's not really a surprise, but... It hurts a lot. I know I told you I might like Natsu in 'that' way... But recently... I..." She trailed off weakly. "Recently I figured out that I love him. I have for a while. I guess I never realized it, and now I'm not allowed to love him.

"Was this how it felt to see Dad with someone other than you? It's pretty painful, isn't it? Sometimes I think about where I would be if I had realized earlier... But there's no point to that is there?

"Some days I just want to do terrible things to Lisanna, or intervene in their relationship, and I feel so guilty afterward. Natsu was my best friend, my partner. I needed him," she felt tears pricking at her eyes and sighed softly. "Sorry, Mom. I know that's probably not what you want to hear. How are things in heaven? Are you and Dad happy? I hope so. I feel bad about the whole thing with Dad... But I don't regret it. I just never got to say sorry. Could you tell him that for me? Thanks, Mom."

For a long time, Lucy simply talked on about her friends and Fairy Tail, avoiding the topic of Natsu and Lisanna, and the missions she went on.

Soon enough, it was time to leave. The train ride back was about half an hour so she would have to leave now.

As she looked behind her at her parent's resting spots, she saw a beautiful butterfly land on the wreaths. Dark orange, almost black, laced in white around the edges and dotted with blue.

She smiled and headed back to the train station.

. . .

Lucy headed straight for the park after the train; the party would start in 10 minutes.

She arrived at the park five minutes early and scanned the area for a layout.

Around the tree lay multiple checkered sheets and picnic materials, as well as blankets for the night, and a table set up with several games for the whole guild; bingo, paper snowball fight, react and act, charades, and more.  There were also many baskets full of, presumably, food scattered around the place, a snack always within reach. The grass blades shone in the daylight, casting a green glow on everything close enough to it, and it gave the scene a kind of liveliness that she hadn't expected before the sun went down.

Tons of people were already gathered around the tree; Team Natsu, Team ShadowGear and Gajeel, Juvia, Nab, Max, Cana, Master Makarov, and more were all making last minute check-ups to see if everything was good(except Cana, she was drinking).

At 3:00 sharp, everyone had already arrived, and thus began the game of bingo.

Throughout the bingo game, Lucy zoned out and stared at the sky, or glanced towards Natsu and Lisanna, and sometimes she would smile sadly and think of her mom.

She poked a hole in her bingo board, she only had one more square until she won. Maybe she'd get lucky and win on her first year, she laughed a bit to herself.

"Hey! I got bingo!" Lisanna shouted, grinning and holding up her board.

'Figures. I'm always just a little short,' Lucy groaned good-naturedly with the rest of the guild.

"Congrats, Liz! Here's your prize!" Mira handed held out a folded piece of cloth. Lisanna unfolded it and, upon seeing what it was, asked if anyone else wanted to take it.

The entirety of Fairy Tail stayed silent, eyeing someone else to take it. 

Lucy sighed. It wasn't as if the color and shape weren't fixable, so...

Raising her hand, she sighed and said, "Gosh, why do these things always get pushed on me," and put on a pouty face.

"Aw, if you really don't want it, I can take it, Lucy," Lisanna smiled. "It's not as if I can't use it, I just don't really think it would be very useful for me."

"No, don't worry. I can always just donate it if I can't find a use."

"If you say so," Lisanna handed over the cloth to the girl.

Lucy wrapped herself in the cloak and watched as butterflies of all shapes and sizes surrounded the cherry blooms.

"Hey, Luce," Natsu sat down next to her, grinning, Lisanna on the other side.

"Hey, Natsu," Lucy replied cheerfully. "Hi Lisanna," she gave a little wave.

"Hi, sorry for making you take that cloak. If it's any consolation, you look great in it!" Lisanna smiled.

"Nah it'll be fine. And thanks," the group chatted for a few minutes before the rest of Team Natsu came around. 

The next game started, and Lucy sort of tuned them out to think because she honestly didn't care who could hit who with the most paper wads.

She thought first about Natsu and Lisanna. They were a great couple, not perfect because no couple is perfect, but a great one.

Lisanna was a great help on missions, a good influence on Natsu, and she was fun to be around. Lucy genuinely liked her, she was a good friend. The thing Lucy didn't like was her and Natsu dating. How could she solve the problem?

Again, for what seemed the thousandth time, she realized there really was no way to solve this problem anything and everything that she could do would cause chaos.

So, as she played with the skeleton of the Nigella Damascena in her pocket, she looked up at the sky and stared at the flowers, which were beginning to shimmer softly with rainbow colors.

Butterflies of all different kinds floated and bobbed around the tree, entranced by the petals.

One, she recognized. It was the same butterfly that she had seen at her parent's graves.

"Hey, Mira," she asked the closest person to her, "what kind of butterfly is that?" She pointed towards the creature.

"Hm? Oh! Those are called Nymphalis Antiopa. It was actually brought over from another country, it's not native to here," Mirajane explained as they watched the game.

"Oh, okay. I'll have to look it up later. Thanks, Mira," Lucy smiled and returned to her thoughts.

Far too soon, the party had ended. With a drunk Cana, adrenaline rushed Natsu, and an exhausted Master, Fairy Tail returned to the privacy of their homes to rest.

. . .

In Lucy's home, a book sat open on the desk as the girl flipped through the pages.

She was looking for a kind of butterfly. She knew what it looked like, it's scientific name, but she wanted to know more about it. Lucy didn't understand why, but maybe it was because she saw it twice in one day, once at her parents resting place.

She smiled as she looked at the picture of the butterfly, tracing her fingers across it.

Nymphalis Antiopa, it was classified as a pest which defoliated ornamental trees, they enjoyed wide open spaces, and we're generally annoying. Commonly known as Mourning Cloaks.

Lucy thought it was kind of ironic, considering that today she was mourning her mother and she had been given a cloak by Lisanna.

But then again she supposed it made sense as well.

The setting sun's shimmering streaks streamed through her open bedroom window. She closed her eyes and inhaled deeply, letting the scent of cherry blossoms and rivers and fabric and butterflies into her lungs, as she smiled a secretive smile to herself. As long as she was here, in Magnolia, with her friends, she was okay. And although she knew that her friends were always there for her, the stained glass hues of the refracted light from the rainbow cherry blossom tree a mile away from her little house on the edge of the canal were the only console she had, lighting her life in a blaze of vibrant oranges and soft-brushed purples to give her a reason to wake up.

Now all she had to do was keep going.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading.  
> <3


End file.
